Wednesday, February 17, 2010

So hot today.....

Aaaaahhhh- It was one of those days- sweat pouring off me as I come into crow and slide off my arms. Dry off- better. Sweat coming out of my pores almost with force. Mat drenched, towel drenched, body saying "thank you". Air around me like soup- swimming through the air, breathing the moisture. The sweat dries on my skin during savasana , get up- slide into my sandals...perhaps a swim at the waterfall?
Oh wait. February 17th. snow. snow. snow. studio never over 72 degrees. cold. Okay- so I'm not dripping in the sweat, swimming in the soup,  a human sprinkler- not as bendy, rubber band-y in my practice as I am when summer is in full swing, my body is always warm, loose, willing. Instead my body is creaky, a little angry at me when I come to my mat- oh god not today- too cold...wait noooooo don't take off the socks! sob, sob, really-bind? right now? 5 minutes in? Oh come on Shan. So my practice changes with the seasons....Siff in winter, a little more brittle, heavy like slabs of ice. But like winter- times of profound stillness, quiet beauty, deep introspection. So different than my summer practice....pliable like green branches, light from toxins moving out of me, exhuberent like sunflowers. I love this time...i look forward to these moments of body doesn't fight me Yes! let's get on that mat! of course take that bind, float forward, face on shins...let's do this for hours Shan!
But though summer is the time I day dream about in my practice, I think that it is in those dark, heavy moments in the heart of winter that I learn some of the greatest lessons on my mat....the times I am forced to be more patient, more understanding, more humble with my body. Hard lessons to learn, even harder to apply, harder still to work through day after day....and I make it through-and I breathe.  I know that the ice will thaw, having given the ground time to rest, and renew. Green shoots appearing in the fertile soil, made fertile by the slow, quiet, release of the winter water deep into the crust.
So though I know these are necessary moments- I still daydream about by summer practice. Tank tops and sweat seem so far away . I know that it will get here though- one day.

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